Overview: The small village of Daggerhorn has more wrong with it than just the name, it's also plagued by a Werewolf that kills at random, and shortens their bacon supply by killing the pigs left by the town as a sacrefice. Life in the town is hard for Valerie as she STRUGGLES with being pretty, ironically having plenty of make-up for such a primeval town, and juggling relationships with two boys who look as if they've been living with the Cullens for a while... Or the lead singer from HIM. Soon the Priest from Hell arrives in town with a job to get rid of Old Yeller, but this can prove to be difficult since anyone in town could be the wolf! It's most likely the kid who exploded with facial hair at the ripe old age of 12.
The Good: I don't know who was in charge of the set designs in this movie, but not only does that man deserve a raise, he also deserves an all-you-can-eat dinner-buffet at Golden Correl, my treat. As cheesy as it may have looked, the trees in the forest looked brutal. Not only did they have thorns on them, but they were the size of a Prius! The Wolf was pretty cool as well, there were times during the film that I wanted to insert myself into the storyline and pet the overly-peeved-off dog to my hearts content; at the same time yelling "Poofy Dish!" Did it ever occur to anyone that maybe the wolf just wanted to be petted and whispered sweet nothings in it's ear? Aside from the fact that this movie is cheesy enough to fill a deep-dish pizza, it actually had some decent twists in it.
The Bad: "So kids, did you finish the script i've been asking about?"
"Yes Mr. Tibbs we hope you like it, we drawered the pictures myselves as well."
"Well time will tell you little writers you... (roughly 2 hours later)... Get out of my classroom right now, and don't forget to slam your head into the door on the way out."
"But Mr. Tib..."-
-"Silence! I'll never watch movies the same way again, and you may have increased my desire to walk myself into oncoming traffic. Now be gone, before I give you crohns."
That is the best way for me to describe this precious work of art. Being a fan of scary movies I had high hopes for this one, but alas they were shattered once again, much like my reaction in finding out lady gaga's a woman. First of all it's as cheesy as an episode of "Barney" mixed with "Days of our lives", and to top all that it's like the director took all that was bad about the "Twilight Saga" and applied it to this dump as well.
The Ugly: Unless you lose all confidence in life, I'd prefer not watching this film. There were times that it looked amazing, and the designs were quite pleasant to look at, but even the designer dude could not save this movie from it'self. Go ahead and watch it, then shove your head in the oven.
0 out of 5
Again, THANK YOU. Terrible movie, another I called it, stupid movie. I was bored and my friend and I were making fun of it through the whole thing.
ReplyDeleteWhat got me so mad was that although they were in a forest area with no salons or wal-marts, every member of that town looked perfectly trimmed, groomed, and clean.
ReplyDeleteP.S. what was up with Peter's hair?! I doubt they had "Got 2 be Glued" back then.