Overview: Frank is just a simple Johnny Depp dopelganger making his way across Europe, until he runs into Elise; this lady looks like the Devil’s mistress and dresses like she’s 2 decades behind everyone else. Using the same skills she used to seduce Brad Pitt, she "leads Frank on" like a cheerleader at a High School prom, and gets him involved in all sorts of drama with the (British version of the) FBI and a wanna-be Russion gangster. Full with deceit, fabio-less passionate love, and lots of boats, the two love-doves avoid these people like they’re SARS.
The Good: The entire film is visually stunning, and makes me want to dawn 80’s apparel and drink 100 year old wine, or in my case a glass of 2-week old grape juice (from Welches brand, that way I live on the edge). The acting wasn’t too bad, and I actually thought that Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie did good jobs with what they were given, even though they were screaming out “I’m Rick James BI@%$!!” Wait they didn’t say that, they said “I’m hot and you know it” throughout the WHOLE movie. I did like the ending of the movie a lot though, but unless I want my house to be tee-pee’d I’m going to avoid giving that away.
The Bad: I love how this movie claimed to be a Thriller, even though the part of me the movie "thrilled" was my desire to use the toilet. There was practically no plot for a caperish-type movie that’s supposed to be built on suspense and deceit; I ended up watching a 1½ hour fashion show featuring Jolie and Depp strutting their wealthy butts all across Venice. At one point I almost preferred watching “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End”, thus allowing my head to explode because of too much plot coming my way. Instead I kept thinking to myself “Alright I get it! Angelina’s hot, and her jawline is chizzled to perfection by God’s angels! Johnney, you are no doubt one of God's greatest creations".
The Ugly: The part of my soul obsessed with wanderlust really liked this movie, because it felt more like a tour guide video, with my guides being two of the hottest actors ever! (I speak of Jolie… or course). Make sure you don’t expect too much from the storyline, because if you do then you might be drivin to a murderous rage like I… wasn’t? Listen that Irish family was not my fault!!!!
½ out of 5
THANK YOU for rating this 1/2 of 5. I watched it and like 5 minutes (if that) into the film I called the plot of the film. It was duuuuuumb.
ReplyDeleteI will forgive Johnney Depp for doing such a thing, because usually he is cool-beans! But yeah the plot... didn't really exist.
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