Showing posts with label Drama. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Drama. Show all posts

Monday, January 6, 2014

Thanks For Sharing




It's about as refreshing as a $5 Footlong sandwich from Subway when I view a film that's 100% honest, and doesn’t try to downplay its content so that people don’t get offended.  This film takes a look at the lives of three individuals who struggle with different kinds of addictions, but the one they all have in common and which they struggle with the most is Sex Addiction.  Now with me being a staunch Mormon, I don’t have any experience with this “Barney Stinson” lifestyle, but from what is shown on TV and from what I hear from friends is that it’s the life to have, being able to sleep with all the people you want.  That (to some people) sounds like the dream, right? Well what this movie does is it gives you an in depth profile of individuals who can’t control their constant sexual urges, and as a result friendships are ruined, jobs are lost, families are torn apart and all sense of happiness is gone.  I’m obviously not a psychologist, but it can’t be denied that sexual addiction is a real thing that many people in the world struggle with, and it's not just something the movie told me.  Having struggled with my own types of addictions in the past (although maybe not at this level), I can empathize that giving into addiction, whatever they may be, brings only hopelessness and a sense of not having control over one’s own life.  This movie is a strong testament of the power of the human spirit, and its will to make changes for the better despite the odds that are sometimes against it.

4 1/2 out of 5


Sunday, December 29, 2013

Prisioners




Something common in all of us is that we have opinions, whether we’re talking about politics, religion, healthcare or ethical issues, and we all profess to be staunch in what those opinions are.  This film stars Hugh Jackman who plays a father whose daughter gets abducted, and while working with the local authorities he discovers the person who he thinks made the abduction.  Due to the lack of evidence the lead suspect was released, and Hugh decides to take matters into his own hands by kidnapping the suspected kidnapper, and torturing him until he reveals where Hugh’s daughter is.  While watching Prisoners my wife and I agreed wholeheartedly that what Hugh was doing to that man was terrible, and that he shouldn’t have taken matters into his own hands, but then we took a step back and asked ourselves if we were in the same situation as Hugh, then “what would we do?”  

3 1/2 out of 5


Friday, October 14, 2011

Dream House


I'm not going to scew ya'll the same way the trailer did by giving away almost every plot-twist, so focus on my summary and don't watch the trailer.  Will Atenton follows the ridiculous trend of quiting his high-paying job so he can settle down, write an explicit Romance novel (not really), and spend more time with his family.  WHO CARES ABOUT FAMILY!! jk.  After pulling a Chevy Chase from "Funny Farm" he learns about a killer who murdered the family that lived in the house before his, and apparently he's going to return!! Spooky-Scary!!

I think of this movie the same way I think about a delicious Little Ceaser's Pizza in the fridge that was left over from the rave the night before.  I love to eat it because it's delicious and it makes me believe that this is what God and all his Angels would be eating, but then I notice my love-handles getting bigger and I turn into Eddie Murphy in practically all his movies.  The movie did a good job in how it handled all the twists during the middle part of the movie, and that's a relief because all Horror movies (now) leave the predictable twist at the end.  The sad part is none of the movie was partculary scary, and the ending was sort of Anti-Climatic.  Can't say everything about 007, and C thought his abs were as beautiful as ever...
2 out of 5

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Blue Valentine



Overview:  Dean and Cindy's relationship has come a long way with lots of ups and downs since the first moment they met.  Now that they have a kid, they find their marriage deteriorating, probably because Dean knew Cindy was once married to a gay cowboy, and Cindy found out that Dean stared in the notebook.  In order to put the spark back in the marriage they decide to go out on a date where they decide to make sweet sweet... marriage saving memories together; what were you thinking?

Did I like this, or did it make me vomit?  First of all this movie is sad!  I'm not going to give the ending away, but this is a bittersweet movie that I liken unto a bag of "Warhead" candies in that the movie is brutal and it makes me not want to take a bath, but then by the end it turns sweet and I start asking myself important moral "soul searching" questions.
4 out of 5 

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The Box



Overview:  Everything looks peachy with the Lewis family... all up until the peaches start to mold and sprout little white hairs; translation= they receive pay cuts and their son is awkward.  Things start to look brighter (in a grim way) when a man with a bad case of the botox presents them with a Box.  Within the box is a button, and if pressed one person whom they don't know in the world will die, but the upside is they'll receive payment of $1,000,000.  What will they choose?! I personally think they should press the button, get the money, and pay to have the man's face fixed.

The Good:  This is one of those Faust-like films that make you do some deep soul searching.  When watching the movie we all say to ourselves "I would never push that button.  I go to Sunday school every day.  Everybody poops", but if we were presented with the box what would we do?  This is a powerful movie about morals, which in a odd way makes it creepier than most, because it can make you question yourself.

The Bad:  The movie is one of our favorites to watch, but there are a couple times during this movie that become so boring that I would rather study for my Human Anatomy class just for fun... and that's when you know the world has been flushed down the toilet.

The Ugly:  besides the mans face which looks more like the black lung of a smoker, the movie is as delicious as a peeled apple.  I liken "The Box" unto a box (ha!) of Lucky Charms, there are the normal parts of the cereal that taste like sandpaper, but a majority of the time you're squealing with delight over the amount of marshmallows that make your taste-buds scream "GIGGITY!!"
4 out of 5

Sunday, September 11, 2011

The Time Traveler's Wife



Overview:  Life sorta sucks for Henry DeTamble, because at any random moment his body can disappear like Nicole Richie and land anywhere in time.  Time travel for Henry is basically a curse, and not in the way that we hear it in other movies where the curse is actually something freakishly awesome! No in this movie the curse is actually a "my-life-will-forever-suck-and-I-might-as-well-be-paralyzed-from-the-waist-down" kind of thing.  To make things a bit more complicated he woo's and (SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT) gets married to a girl named Clare Abshire, and during the young married couple find ways to deal with his problem.  Speaking of SPOILER ALERT you know that they get married because it's in the title, ga-der!!

The Good:  Nothing beats a good tearjerker after spending an entire day at school about an hour away.  Sometimes when I get back from school after a stressful day all I want to do is lay down on the couch with the blinds down and a bucket of ice-cream in my hands while a sappy romantic movie tries to touch my heart in weird places.  Eric Bana (to me) is the perfect idea of a MAN, because this guy has done everything from "The Hulk" to "Munich" and then this little diddy that's sure to make even the manliest of men question their testosterone levels.  Rachel McAdams does terrific as always, and she doesn't even need Ryan Gosling or his strategically placed flock of flamboyant delicious-looking geese.  It seems that no matter what role she's given, Rachel will tackle it with flying colors, she's like the chick version of Justin Timberlake.


The Bad:  Oh Nicholas Sparks, you sure do know how to make sappy romances look hopeful, until they fall to the butt-crack of the earth like a pile of bricks... but (sadly) to my surprise I found out that this was not one of his stories, although I could have sworn it was due to all the sad/tragic/happy story-line coming my way.  I know that it was the "sadness" of this movie that made it so appealing to watch, but i'm suddenly in the mood for the cliche chick-flick where nothing goes wrong and everything ends up happy in the end with a make-out scene on the Golden Gate Bridge.

The Ugly:  Eric Bana is definitely one of the manliest men alive, and Rachel McAdams is one of the chickiest of chicks out there as well.  Although this movie reeks tremendously of a Nicholas Sparks fart, it turns out that it's not one of his movies and it's actually pretty engaging.
3 1/2 out of 5

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Soul Surfer



Overview:  Looks like our girl from "Bridge to Terabithia" (Bethany Hamilton) has grown up into a kick-butt surfer in Hawaii, and thank goodness she's now a corn-fed (say-about-ten-hail-Mary's-a-day) Christian.  one day when she was lollygagging in the ocean pretending to be "Whale Rider", a shark with a simple appetite came up and bit her arm off.  With all sympathies towards Bethany she's lucky that the shark was an idiot, because he only wanted a nibble instead of the four-course meal, just like when a hobo tried to kill me for a dollar on my honeymoon.  Due to her new found one-armness, Bethany's dreams to become a professional Surfer look quite bleak.  Will her Dennis Quaid help her reach her dreams, and will Bethany allow it?

The Good:  When I was a kid my mom paraded my red-hair around because it was so beautiful, and it reminded everyone of Autum and blood, this movie does the same thing for Hawaii.  The whole time the two of us were thinking "We should visit that place because it is so gosh-darn-dangit beautiful".  The settings are gorgeous and the Surfing dance offs are breathe taking, but that's probably because I grew up in San Francisco where the water was so cold that I come out looking like Edward Cullen.  Although cheesy, the acting is pretty pleasant thanks to AnnaSophia Robbs, Dennis Quaid, and the almost fully dressed Helen Hunt.  This movie made me want to pursue my dreams, and take a bite out of the arm of life. HA! Dark.

The Bad:  Just because I said the acting was good thanks to the three people mentioned above, that doesn't mean the same compliment applies to Carrie Underwood.  Her acting was about as stinky as an un-wiped bottom, and the two of us agreed that she only signed up for this role because it's a chance to earn some extra dough, even if it goes bad; she makes most of her money with music anyways.  One last thing that I find annoying in cinema is when movies become too religiously preachy like this one, which shouldn't annoy me because i'm a staunch Mormon, but it makes me want to chew on a tree regardless.  I don't want to feel like I'm in Sunday School when I'm watching a movie that takes place in Hawaii, I want to feel like i'm swimming with fishes that don't want to chew my arm off;  "Soul Surfer" should take notes from "The Other Side Of Heaven", because that movie is about religion yet it avoids being preachy.  What C hated about this movie was the lack of Katie Perry's "Fireworks" song, I had to sing her some Enya to calm her down.

The Ugly:  Excusing my rant about hating Carrie Underwood's acting career, this movie is pretty good.  I also exaggerated how preachy this movie was (only slightly), it's just sometimes red flags of "What the heck?" get sent up.  This is a fairly good movie with an engaging plot and one heck of a good ending.

"127 Hours" comparison:  I love comparing this film to "127 Hours" because both of them are about loosing limbs.
-differences: "Soul Surfer" focuses more on the before-and-after effects of having and loosing an arm, and it is freakishly cheesy.  "127 Hours" is more about the intensity of the moment, and focuses more on the man's will to live.
-Simularities: they both loose arms.  The point to each of these stories is to not go Rock climbing, or Surfing... ever!!!
3 out of 5

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Biutiful



Overview:  After he avoided the cops at the end of "No Country For Old Men" Javier Bardem is now in his native country of Spain.  Uxbal's life more or less sucks, and i'm closer to becoming a crab fisherman than I am to envying his life.  He has a lot of crap (not) going for him right now, including: a crack addict wife who is abusive and sleeps around with his siblings, his friends are getting canned, he has to support his two children, and his health isn't in the best of shape.  As things come to a close he has to juggle everything from the good, the bad, to the worst... at least this time he isn't killing random hicks with an air-gun.

The Good:  Inarritu has a pretty good reputation of making sad films with important messages, and this has to be the king of them.  "Biutiful" is a 2+-hour movie that succeeds in being depressing all the way through, but at the same time it's not the kind of depressing movie that makes you want to run over neighborhood children on bicycles because you don't see the point in life anymore, it's the kind of depression that makes you value your own life and helps you gain perspective on what's really important... That and you're not running over kids. Javier Bardem, much like Inarritu, has a great track record so far since all the movies he's been in have been phenomenal, and that's largely due to his powerful acting.  Javier has to be one of the greatest actors out there, because half the time he doesn't have to speak any dialog, instead his powerful facial expressions do all the talking for him, and if you don't believe me go see this or "No Country for Old Men".

The Bad: Just because I said that Inarritu has an excellent track record so far doesn't mean that his movies are completely flawless.  C and I thought the movie was extremely captivating, until we looked at how much time has passed by... 2 HOURS! are you CROHN'SING ME?!  In two hours I could have watched a normal (happy) movie and had enough time to read a book, make dinner, and then have a bubble bath with strawberries and chocolate fondue right next to me.  It was good, but unless it's another "Lord of the Rings" movie, then please keep it NOT that long.

The Ugly:  Much like "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" series, this movie definitely is not for everyone.  It's a depressing  film that rivals "Grave of the Fireflies" and "Schindler's List" when it comes to being one of the saddest movies of all time, but thankfully that's not all going for it.  Beneath all the sorrow is a lot of great cinema magic, great acting, inspiring messages, and... Spanish people?
4 out of 5

Saturday, September 3, 2011

The Dilemma



Overview:  Ronny and James are the best of friends, and both have landed relationships with babes, or did they?  Ronny had the unfortunate experince of seeing James' wife cheating on him with a G. I. Joe, and because he doesn't want to discourage him during their huge deal with a car company, he keeps it a secret about as awkwardly as a 6-year old red head who had just stolen a snickers bar from a Marathon station.

The Good:  C and I were pleasently suprised how good this movie was.  I haven't broken the truth to many people that their spouses are cheating on them, but according to Vince Vaughn it's quite the crappy position to be in.  Winona Ryder has finally dropped the "I'm shoplifting for my hubbie Edward Scissorhands" mojo, and has now turned into the unlovable tramp we always knew she would.  Channing Tatum went back to his stripper roots in order to do a really good job being a white-trash home-wrecker, and I don't fully know the reasons why I like this man, especially since he was in that piece of crap also called "G.I. Joe", but I have a great feeling that he'll be the next Rock/Schwarzenegger.  Vince Vaughn delivers a good role once again, and although it isn't as funny as all of his crashing in "Wedding Crashers", he did a good enough job that I would take him to get unlimited bread-sticks at Olive Garden.

The Bad:  It's not that I don't like overweight comedians, because Chris Farley and I used to be tight, and I've always been a fan of Kevin James on "King of Queens".  For some reason Kevin James dances in every movie, which as far as i'm concerned started with "Hitch", but now it's starting to get old.  Now whenever I see him dance (which he does a lot in this movie), I want to revisit my days preparing for a colonoscopy where poop and upchucking comes like Niagara falls.  Jennifer Connelly for some reason falls short in this movie, it might be because it's mostly centered around Vince and Kevin and Winona's flusie ways, so it seems  that Connelly doesn't have much to contribute.  The biggest problem this movie had was it's marketing.  C and I were always confused when we saw the trailer for this because it looked like it was trying to be the next "Dumb and Dumber", and then we realized it was a drama film with only a handful of laughs; we were mislead like we were with O. J. Simpson's book.

The Ugly:  Don't go see this movie thinking that it's going to be the next "Dumb and Dumber", because that will ruin everything for you.  This was a great drama-filled flick that kept C and I interested all the way through.
3 out of 5

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Rise of the Planet of the Apes



Overview:  After the apes couldn't get enough joy from terrorizing humans in "28 Days Later", they travel across the seas to San Francisco and probe it with a vengeance.  Will Rodman is one of the very few decently-attractive-men-that-are-nerdy-scientists out there, and through experiencing on apes he's been able to develop a potential cure for Alzheimer's!   This drug also has a side effect of making apes too smart for my taste, and after Will's baby monkey (that he should have given birth to) becomes ultra intelligent, he leads a massive army of monkeys in an uprising.... in other words he led a bunch of peace/love/dope hippies back to the forest, much like the 60's.

The Good:  Andy Serkis owned this movie, much like I own the bathroom when my crohns acts up.  I didn't even know actors who did motion capturing could be that good, but alas they can, and there is a great possibility that he'll earn himself an Oscar for this role.  James Franco satisfies me (in the movie-making business) yet again, and he was very good in this movie because he didn't steal the scene whenever he was shown, but he was a great supporting actor in complimenting Andy Serkis' acting job.  Even though I was one of the few who liked Tim Burton's "Planet of the Apes" remake, this was the "Ape" film I've been waiting for.  the buildup in this movie is tremendous, and once the ape battle scenes take place in the end I got chills so big that it felt like having a 50 cent ice-cream cone at McDonald's.  This was definitely the best movie I've seen in theaters this summer thus far.


The Bad:  Not much bad with this movie because it's about as perfect as Brad Pitt's teeth, but there is one thing I had beef with... great now I'm hungry.  I wish there were more battle scenes and more killing of the disgusting humans!  Don't worry there is plenty of action going on, but i'm one of those ultra-Horror-loving freaks that wants more.

The Ugly:  See it, it may not sound that appealing at first because it's about a bunch of anal monkeys, but it is totally worth it.  Not only is the best movie of the summer, but it's the best "Planet of the Apes" movie in general.  It's a serious, gritty, hairy, and toothy movie that'll make you want to terrorize other people APE STYLE!
5 out of 5

Friday, August 5, 2011

Red Riding Hood



Overview:  The small village of Daggerhorn has more wrong with it than just the name, it's also plagued by a Werewolf that kills at random, and shortens their bacon supply by killing the pigs left by the town as a sacrefice. Life in the town is hard for Valerie as she STRUGGLES with being pretty, ironically having plenty of make-up for such a primeval town, and juggling relationships with two boys who look as if they've been living with the Cullens for a while... Or the lead singer from HIM.   Soon the Priest from Hell arrives in town with a job to get rid of Old Yeller, but this can prove to be difficult since anyone in town could be the wolf!  It's most likely the kid who exploded with facial hair at the ripe old age of 12.

The Good:  I don't know who was in charge of the set designs in this movie, but not only does that man deserve a raise, he also deserves an all-you-can-eat dinner-buffet at Golden Correl, my treat.  As cheesy as it may have looked, the trees in the forest looked brutal.  Not only did they have thorns on them, but they were the size of a Prius!  The Wolf was pretty cool as well, there were times during the film that I wanted to insert myself into the storyline and pet the overly-peeved-off dog to my hearts content; at the same time yelling "Poofy Dish!"  Did it ever occur to anyone that maybe the wolf just wanted to be petted and whispered sweet nothings in it's ear? Aside from the fact that this movie is cheesy enough to fill a deep-dish pizza, it actually had some decent twists in it.

The Bad:  "So kids, did you finish the script i've been asking about?"
"Yes Mr. Tibbs we hope you like it, we drawered the pictures myselves as well."
"Well time will tell you little writers you... (roughly 2 hours later)... Get out of my classroom right now, and don't forget to slam your head into the door on the way out."
"But Mr. Tib..."-
-"Silence! I'll never watch movies the same way again, and you may have increased my desire to walk myself into oncoming traffic. Now be gone, before I give you crohns."
That is the best way for me to describe this precious work of art.  Being a fan of scary movies I had high hopes for this one, but alas they were shattered once again, much like my reaction in finding out lady gaga's a woman.  First of all it's as cheesy as an episode of "Barney" mixed with "Days of our lives", and to top all that it's like the director took all that was bad about the "Twilight Saga" and applied it to this dump as well.

The Ugly:  Unless you lose all confidence in life, I'd prefer not watching this film.  There were times that it looked amazing, and the designs were quite pleasant to look at, but even the designer dude could not save this movie from it'self.  Go ahead and watch it, then shove your head in the oven.

0 out of 5

Thursday, August 4, 2011

The Tourist


Overview:  Frank is just a simple Johnny Depp dopelganger making his way across Europe, until he runs into Elise; this lady looks like the Devil’s mistress and dresses like she’s 2 decades behind everyone else.   Using the same skills she used to seduce Brad Pitt, she "leads Frank on" like a cheerleader at a High School prom, and gets him involved in all sorts of drama with the (British version of the) FBI and a wanna-be Russion gangster.  Full with deceit, fabio-less passionate love, and lots of boats, the two love-doves avoid these people like they’re SARS. 

The Good:  The entire film is visually stunning, and makes me want to dawn 80’s apparel and drink 100 year old wine, or in my case a glass of 2-week old grape juice (from Welches brand, that way I live on the edge).  The acting wasn’t too bad, and I actually thought that Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie did good jobs with what they were given, even though they were screaming out “I’m Rick James BI@%$!!” Wait they didn’t say that, they said “I’m hot and you know it” throughout the WHOLE movie.  I did like the ending of the movie a lot though, but unless I want my house to be tee-pee’d I’m going to avoid giving that away.

The Bad:  I love how this movie claimed to be a Thriller, even though the part of me the movie "thrilled" was my desire to use the toilet.  There was practically no plot for a caperish-type movie that’s supposed to be built on suspense and deceit; I ended up watching a 1½ hour fashion show featuring Jolie and Depp strutting their wealthy butts all across Venice.  At one point I almost preferred watching “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End”, thus allowing my head to explode because of too much plot coming my way. Instead I kept thinking to myself “Alright I get it! Angelina’s hot, and her jawline is chizzled to perfection by God’s angels!  Johnney, you are no doubt one of God's greatest creations".

The Ugly:  The part of my soul obsessed with wanderlust really liked this movie, because it felt more like a tour guide video, with my guides being two of the hottest actors ever! (I speak of Jolie… or course).  Make sure you don’t expect too much from the storyline, because if you do then you might be drivin to a murderous rage like I… wasn’t?  Listen that Irish family was not my fault!!!!

½ out of 5

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Let Me In



Overview:  Things don't look too bright for Owen in his middle-school universe.  Bullies give him some killer wedgies, flush his hair in the poop machine, and call him names like "nose picker" and "poopie maggie".  OK that's a lie, these bullies make "The Children of the Corn" look like saints.  His life continues to look bleak until he meets the girl of his 12-year old dreams, who just so happens to be depressed for no reason, and dresses like a bankrupt hippie who couldn't afford a pair of Chuck Taylor's at Payless.  As it turns out she isn't really depressed, instead she's a soulless Vampire who travels around with her oddly affectionate dad.  Together with Owen they share a forbidden/cute romantic friendship that rivals those glittery vampires from "Twilight".

The Good:  Although I have not read the book, I did indeed see the original Swedish version titled, "Let The Right One In", and I'll probably be the first one to say "Let Me In" is 10 times better than the original.  Its not that I have anything against Swedish people, heck, I married one of their daughters.  What I didn't like about the original is the lack of artistic direction.  "Let Me In" succeeds in being very artistic, and is close to being like the "Pan's Labrynth" of vampire flicks.  Director Matt Reeves stunned the world with his "Blair Witch" styled monster flick "Cloverfield", which succeeded in making everyone in the theater throw up their pizza all over the seats.  After recovering from the 2-year seizure, "Let Me In" was well worth the wait.  Unlike most Horror films, this movie actually makes a very good drama as well, and the acting from Chloe Moretz as the vampire who never hit puberty is superb.  The acting from everyone else in the movie is great, but their all human, and we now live in a world where no one (especially awkward teens) cares about humans, its all about the supernatural disturbed (or glittery hunks, if your gender curious or a teenage girl).
P.S. I think the poster looks awesome by the way.

The Bad:  Bullies suck, and this one is full with 12-year old bullies who look as if they eat testosterone pills for breakfast, and then watch "Casino" for lunch;  These little freaks need to get their butts to church or Oprah.  For a vampire movie there sure isn't enough vampire violence for my taste.  I'm one of those guys who wants vampires ripping people apart, and then bathe in their blood afterwards while washing their hair with Herbal Essences.  There is vampire violence, but it's no "30 Days of Night".  Other than than that, this movie is shear perfection, just like 2 McDoubles at McDonald's for $2.

The Ugly:  The world is greatly lacking some original Horror films lately, and instead we like to remake worthless crap like Michael Bay's version of "Friday the 13th".  Although "Let Me In" is a remake, it's definitely a breath of fresh air, and is most likely to make you cry like a hopeless romantic... about as much as it will scare you like Sarah Jessica Parker's face.
5 out of 5

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Beastly


Overview:  Oh teenage puppy love, how disgusting it is.  Kyle is a filthy rich guy that gets away with his fame and his looks without ever having to lift a finger; he always he gets what he wants.  Like an idiot he made the decision to peeve off the wrong witch (aka, one of the crack head Olsen twins), and ever since he rubbed that lamp the wrong way, he was cursed to look like “The Girl With The Dragon Tatoo”.  He’ll continue to look like a drag queen until he can get someone to love him for who he is, which honestly shouldn’t be that difficult. All he has to do is present himself in a dark alleyway and the gothic chicks will be all over him.

The Good:  There are some very good plot points in the movie, and the story is simple enough that a goldfish can understand it.  Despite being ubber cheesy, there was actually some good acting going on, particularly (and I’m going to shoot myself in the crohns for saying this) from Vanessa Hudgens, and Alex Pettyfer, the selfish hunk from “I am Number Four”.  The best part of this movie would be my dear friend Neil Patrick Harris, who plays as Kyle‘s blind tutor, and he plays him with the sweet pickled relish.  It’s as if Mr Harris knows how embarrassing this movie can get, and so he spends a vast majority of his time on screen laughing at it.  Maybe it’s the 12-yearold red-headed stepchild within me, but I’m a sucker for (SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT) happy endings, and this movie provides… unlike the crappy service that COMCAST gives.

The Bad:  Mary-Kate Olsen.  Every time she was on screen I wanted to jump across the theater room and punch the living daylights out of her… wow that sounded violent… um, I wanted burn my copy of “Billboard Dad”.  Her hair was ridonculious!  It was as if Lady Gaga and Snookie had a yard sale, and Mary Kate had first dibs on the poofy wigs.  The one last thing that almost killed me can’t be helped, and that was the teenage romance.  I am under the impression that (leaving rich people aside) there is nothing worse than watching teenagers date and fall in love in a movie, because it can get SO awkward that you would assume you’re watching a Horror movie.

The Ugly:  It may sound sorta like I didn’t enjoy this movie, but the truth is I was probably more into it then C was; I can still have myself a painful good time.  I definitly think all teenagers should see this movie, and take notes, because this is like the ideal teenage-romantic movie.
2 ½ out of 5

Saturday, July 2, 2011

The Fighter



Overview:  "ADRIAN!!!" lol, just kidding. Get out of here Rocky this isn't your movie. "OK, sorry bro, your the greatest you know?" This I know, I love you. "I love you too."  Now back to the movie.
Lowell's glory days have past when it's own Dick Ward went from being a boxing champion and turned into Andy Dick... I mean a crackhead.  Years later Dick is still on the gonja, but his brother Mick is quickly rising as a serious competetor in boxing, but due to his family's selfish motives and Dick's addictions, it proves to be a lot harder. Will Mick become the world champ? Tune in after these messages.

The Good:  This movie looks B-E-A-UTIFUL.  The only thing that doesn't look good is the run down town of Lowell, which looks more like Death Valley with tumble weeds rolling all over the place.  Before watching every Best Picture Nominee in 2011, the only reason I wanted to see this was to witness Christian Bale's performance, and it was amazing.  The mans a method actor, and so I want to tell him to settle down with all the physical preparation he goes through before something bad happens, then again it's fun to watch the result.  Marky-Mark although was not as good as an actor as his crack head Christian-Bale-of-a-brother, he was still a good lead for the movie... And holy Lindsey Lohan!! Mark is buff in this film; he seriously looks like he eats nails for breakfast, and then at dinner he forces Chuck Norris to wear a tutu and dance in public.  Christian Bale looks as though he only eats a single tic-tac and some crack for breakfast.

The Bad:  The danger with making a boxing movie is everyone will compare it to the "Rocky" series, which if anyone has seen them, they'll know that those movies are a hard thing to live up to.  Although I did think "The Fighter" was good, it wasn't as good as any of the "Rocky" movies... except maybe the 5th installment. Seriously what was Sylvester Stallone thinking? I would rather clean a toilet seat with my tongue then watch that, but I digress.  What i'm trying to say is this movie probably would have been better had the boxing scenes been left out, because during the second half of the film C and I thought it quickly became a John Cena movie once Marky Mark got into the ring.  We thought the boxing scenes were awesome, no doubt, it's just we felt they were a little anti-climatic when compared to the drama-filled build up.  

The Ugly:  This aint no "Rocky" flick, but it is still a very good film to see.  The two of us were going to finish the other half of the movie the next day, but C got so glued to the story that she wanted to finish it, so I put the remote down and she dropped the turkey carving knife from my throat; we both got what we wanted, I got to live and she got the movie.  
3 1/2 out of 5

Friday, July 1, 2011

Into The Wild


Overview:  Sick and tired of living the rich-boy life style, Christopher McCandless (played by Emile Hirsch) decides to forsake his career, his family, and all of society in order to live in the wild of Alaska.  Along his journey he meets all kinds of neat people, including Bella Swan before she was wooed by Edward, and a very nice old man that you just want to hug.

The Good:  I’m the kind of person who loves to live life dangerously, whether that includes going kayaking during a tornado warning, drinking an entire “Monster Energy Drink” even though I have crohns, and making fun of large bears when they are on the opposite side of the fence in the zoo.  This movie is really good at making you want to be active out in the forest area, and forgetting what goes on in real life.  “Into the Wild” was amazing to look at, and at times it was so tranquil that you almost felt you were on Chris’ journey with him.  Along with how beautiful it looks, it was also the amazing soundtrack that gave the film its tranquility.  Mad Kudos out to actor Emile Hirsch, who must have undergone a lot of physical challenges in order to meet this role; it’s like he spent several years hanging out with the guy from “Man vs Wild” in order to understand nature.  As opposed to what the trailer will tell you, this movie isn’t ONLY about Christopher finding ways to keep himself entertained in the woods, its more like a “Curious Case of Benjamin Button”, “Forest Gump” and “Big fish” kind of movie.  I say that because he meets and befriends a wide variety of people all throughout his journey, and each person he meets carries a very emotional story; watch out for the old guy in the end, that man will make you bawl like Miss USA after being awarded the crown. 

The Bad:  For what kind of film this is, the movie is freakishly long! By the time the two hour mark roles around you want to yell at director Sean Penn “WE UNDERSTAND!! He hates society and he won’t shoot a deer if it has a child!”  I would have liked a little bit more of Chris’ parents in the movie as well.  William Hurt and Marcia Gay Harden are wonderful actors who shine in basically every movie they’ve been in, but in this movie they fall short a little bit, which is disappointing because they are usually a treat to watch… I especially love how William Hurt has the eternal constipated look on his face.

The Ugly:  This is the ideal movie for those of you who are adventurers out there.  For me what I loved most about it is how it made you feel like you were actually in nature, and it makes you want to do more out-doorsy stuff.  It may be a little long, but it’s definitely worth it.

4 out of 5

Thursday, June 30, 2011

The Kids are Alright


Overview:  Yay, Annette Bening and Julianne Moore are a couple!!  Now I’ve seen it all!  They are a happy Lesbian couple who gave birth to two kids, the older sister Joni and the younger brother Lazor.  Knowing they must have come from some guy other then their moms, they seek out the sperm donor and befriend him.  Eventually he integrates himself into the family, and that’s where all the wild adventures start.

The Good:  The plot is where this movie really shines, which is surprising to me, because when viewing the trailer I thought “You’ve got to be pulling my crohns! This looks like a HORRIBLE idea for a movie!”  as it turns out it is quite the captivating flick, and I found myself sitting at the edge of my seat the entire time hoping they remain a happy family.  I know Mark Ruffalo has been gaining a lot of praise for his performance, and he was really good, but the true gods of acting are the kids played by “Alice in Wonderland’s” Mia Wasikowska, and “Bridge to Terabithia’s” Josh Hutcherson.  Yes, the previous films these two young actors have been in were good, but I was especially happy to see them in something like this, because it proves that they’re perfect at playing mature roles.  Can’t say anything wrong about Julianne Moore and Annette Being, they were the comic relief all throughout. 

The Bad:  I know Mark Ruffalo is good, and I know he was awesome in this movie, but he sure can pull off some of the most akward movie moments of all time.  This is part of why he was so good in this movie, but there were times he was so unbearably awkard that I felt like my eyes were starting to bleed, and this time I SWEAR I wasn’t looking at the sun for an hour! In the trailers this movie was being sold as a Wes Anderson comedy, but it ended up being an intense family drama, so points off for messing with my mind!!

The Ugly:  This is a very good film to watch, probably not for kids, but it is a good reminder to families to stay strong through crappy times; it's a great message about personal growth in the family.  It was right to have this movie nominated for Best Picture, and although I felt betrayed that it wasn't funnier it was still a good drama that kept me interested.
4 out of 5