The EVIL DEAD

I’ve been waiting for this moment for quite a long time.  I was looking forward to this about as much as I was looking forward to the McRib Sandwich coming back, and if that isn’t love then I don’t know what is.  This remake (but not really) of Evil Dead follows the story of Mia, a druggie who appears to have watched a little too much breaking bad, who goes out with a group of friends into the woods so she could go Cold Turkey with a support group.  Everything was going well for the friends until they saw that someone in the basement hated cats about as much as I do, and it was there they found a book that is surrounded by pure evil, and I’m not talking about Hitler’s Autobiography, or the British Book of Dentistry, I’m talking about a book that summons a demon that likes to make trees violate random people.  Of course someone with nerdy glasses had to read the book, thus causing the tree violating demon to posses and kill everyone in the Cabin!

The Good:  First of all, let it be known that EVIL DEAD 2 is my all time favorite movie, and that unlike some people who dismissed this movie right off the “get-go” because it’s a remake, I welcomed this new movie like I welcome chocolate chip covered pancakes covered in syrup.  What I liked most about this EVIL DEAD is that it took all that I love about the original movie including the loss of limbs, the demon woman in the basement, and the abundant amount of gore, and created a completely different story with new characters that I could see get killed off.  Now, my wife may mention that I need a psychological evaluation, because during this film I smiled a smile that resembled a child’s joy at Christmas, while everyone else was shrieking in disgust like they were watching a bikini contest featuring Rose O’Donnell.  There was one scene in particular when a girl cuts her arm off because it was bitten by the possessed Mia, and the entire theater screen was red with blood for an entire minute; I was so overwhelmed with joy that I almost cried like a 12-yr old girl at a Bieber concert. 

The Bad:  You’ll get a bunch of butt-munchers out there who will try to compare this one to the original, which is completely impossible because it plays by a completely different set of rules with new characters.  Some are upset because Ash isn't in it as well, but if you think about it by adding Ash into the story it would make people uneasy because they would be measuring it up to the impossible standards of the original.  Now although I thought the new EVIL DEAD was a near perfect experience, the one downfall I noticed (which really wasn't a downfall at all), was the absence of gory-goodness in the first 20 minutes.

The Ugly: I am a genuine freak in that my joy lies in seeing people lose limbs and get decapitated, and I understand that others may not share that obsession… namely my wife and brother.  I would even say that if they weren't being blocked by a rather large Sikh, they would have walked right out of the theater to go throw up the popcorn in the trash can.  Now, for those individuals out there who enjoy seeing a bunch of people die horrible deaths in an isolated cabin, the new EVIL DEAD movie is heaven!  

5 out of 5

#1 Evil Dead II: Dead By Dawn

Overview: In this remake/sequel to the first "Evil Dead", We learn about the character of Ash (not the loser from Poke' mon), and in this ridiculously morbid film he plans a mini-vacation with his hot girlfriend in the woods; which by the way is the stupidest idea ever! has our buddy Ash never watched a Horror film?  When they get to the Cabin  Ash reads a book that looks as if it was the Book of Judas, and then suddenly zombies and phantasms are sprouting up all over the place! Like weeds around a bunch of other weeds!!

The Good:  You may wonder why I picked the second installment over "Evil Dead I" and "Army Of Darkness", and the reason is it combines the best of the two!  The First installment focuses more on the gory side of the franchise, while "Army.." is mostly a comedy, so it's like part II is the transitional movie where there's just the right amount of Comedy, and just the right amount of awesome violence.  First of all Bruce Campbell is off the hook as the funny man, who looks as though he could crack walnuts in the butt of his chin!  There are more quotable one-liners in this movie than almost any other, except maybe "Princess Bride", but words like "Groovy" have never been this much fun to say.  Director Sam Raimi has this weird obsession with having as much blood and gore as possible, and in this movie it is over the top but it's meant to be funny.  There was one such scene where this hickerbilly was being attacked by a zombie, and instead of just a little gore, Raimi had like a 3-minute scene of blood blowing all over the place, almost like the Hoover Damn exploded.  Bruce Campbell really made a name for himself with the "Evil Dead" series, because now he is one of the leading filmmakers in B-Horror movies, and I'm pretty sure that all the nerdy red-heads around the world who can't score a date, have a statue of Bruce in their rooms whom they can relate to while loosing at Dungeons and Dragons.

The Bad:  That there wasn't more blood and gore in the movie.  Not saying there wasn't enough, because watching this movie made me feel like I just walked into a slaughterhouse (holy crap i'm hungry all the sudden).  I was just thinking to myself, "what is the only thing that could make this film any more legendary?.. BLOOD!! Yeah I'm a man, man.  Dudes like blood."

The Ugly:  To me this is the greatest Horror film ever made.  It may not be the scariest one of all, but it does score brownie points for AWESOMENESS!!! This film is so over the top with blood, gore, and comedy that the only thing that could be funner than watching this is taking a hot bath filled with mint hot-chocolate! I have never done that, but a brother could dream, right?

5 out of 5