The Poltergeist Series

Thank goodness! A perfect example of Horror movies that can be scary without being dominated by pointless porn-scenes between a couple C-List actors who have no problem baring it all.  The story is basically the same thing we've been seeing in most other Haunting shows (aka "The Sixth Sense", "Insidious", or "The Shining"), and what I mean is the girl (who looks like an Angelic version of the Ring-nut) has special abilities that a bunch of spooky ghosts want, and they do this by turning the TV off and on, and sending questionable old men her way.  This movie does incorporate something that reminds me when to change my pants, and that's DOLLS!  It's funny because dolls aren't even the main focus in this series, but for some reason when one of the ghosts enter the little girl's room, then all the dolls heads turn... which then leads to my stomach turning, and then a good hour in the bathroom with PEOPLE magazine.

All three films are really good, and are must see's for every Horror fan.  Other than the classic first one (directed by Tobe Hopper) I found Poltergeist II to be quite enjoyable, probably because it made me want to become native... much like Kevin Costner.

4 out of 5

Dream House

I'm not going to scew ya'll the same way the trailer did by giving away almost every plot-twist, so focus on my summary and don't watch the trailer.  Will Atenton follows the ridiculous trend of quiting his high-paying job so he can settle down, write an explicit Romance novel (not really), and spend more time with his family.  WHO CARES ABOUT FAMILY!! jk.  After pulling a Chevy Chase from "Funny Farm" he learns about a killer who murdered the family that lived in the house before his, and apparently he's going to return!! Spooky-Scary!!

I think of this movie the same way I think about a delicious Little Ceaser's Pizza in the fridge that was left over from the rave the night before.  I love to eat it because it's delicious and it makes me believe that this is what God and all his Angels would be eating, but then I notice my love-handles getting bigger and I turn into Eddie Murphy in practically all his movies.  The movie did a good job in how it handled all the twists during the middle part of the movie, and that's a relief because all Horror movies (now) leave the predictable twist at the end.  The sad part is none of the movie was partculary scary, and the ending was sort of Anti-Climatic.  Can't say everything about 007, and C thought his abs were as beautiful as ever...

2 out of 5

Blue Valentine

Overview:  Dean and Cindy's relationship has come a long way with lots of ups and downs since the first moment they met.  Now that they have a kid, they find their marriage deteriorating, probably because Dean knew Cindy was once married to a gay cowboy, and Cindy found out that Dean stared in the notebook.  In order to put the spark back in the marriage they decide to go out on a date where they decide to make sweet sweet... marriage saving memories together; what were you thinking?

Did I like this, or did it make me vomit?  First of all this movie is sad!  I'm not going to give the ending away, but this is a bittersweet movie that I liken unto a bag of "Warhead" candies in that the movie is brutal and it makes me not want to take a bath, but then by the end it turns sweet and I start asking myself important moral "soul searching" questions.

4 out of 5 

Shorter Movie Reviews for a season

I am getting my learning on!  Because I'm majoring in Occupational Therapy I'm required to take the dreaded "Human Anatomy and Physiology" class.  Anyone who has taken that class before knows that it sucks the life out of you and it doesn't leave much room for anything else (aka, Movie Reviews).  For the time being reviews will be "a" short paragraph each, summarizing what I thought about said movies.