Top Ten Movies about Parenthood #6

Kick-Ass

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be considered a Super Hero?  NOT ME!  I am one of those wussys who runs to the frozen food section of a store when there's trouble, or screams in pain and agony before my heel even touches the pointy lego.  Apparently that didnt matter for ---, becuase even though he had about as many super powers as Michael Jackson had real noses, that didn't stop him from opening up a can of whoop-A on a couple gangsters.  So it should be no surprise that our friend got his @$$ kicked, but he wunt alone for long!  Along side our hero was a couple masked crusaders called Hit-Girl and her dad, rightfully called Big Daddy, and this is where the worlds greatest parenting comes into play.  Hit-Girl is a young middle-school aged youth with the cuteness of a lost puppy and the potty mouth of a Mel Gibson voice-mail.  The sad part is Hit Girl isn't 100% to blame for her behavior, instead it's her father.  Her father (Big Daddy) was a cop was bent on revenge after being wrongfully thrown into prison, and so in order to get back at his enemies he became a vigilante who looks more like Batman's awkward cousin, and he trained his daughter by teaching her karate and having her take voice lessons from the Insane Clown Posse.  This is TERRIBLE parenting!  It reminds me of when I was at work yesterday and my boss told me he witnessed a father teaching his son to use the word "Gay" as an appropriate response to anything he doesn't like.  Just when my faith in humanity is restored by acts of kindness like someone opening the door for me, or when my wife treats me to a $5 Hot-N-Ready, I see stuff like the douche of a parent at my work.  This movie is a lot like that parent I saw at work, and is one of the ones on my list that is a perfect example of what NOT to do, which is to turn your daughter into a potty-mouthed Sociopath!

3 1/2 out of 5

Let Me In

Overview:  Things don't look too bright for Owen in his middle-school universe.  Bullies give him some killer wedgies, flush his hair in the poop machine, and call him names like "nose picker" and "poopie maggie".  OK that's a lie, these bullies make "The Children of the Corn" look like saints.  His life continues to look bleak until he meets the girl of his 12-year old dreams, who just so happens to be depressed for no reason, and dresses like a bankrupt hippie who couldn't afford a pair of Chuck Taylor's at Payless.  As it turns out she isn't really depressed, instead she's a soulless Vampire who travels around with her oddly affectionate dad.  Together with Owen they share a forbidden/cute romantic friendship that rivals those glittery vampires from "Twilight".

The Good:  Although I have not read the book, I did indeed see the original Swedish version titled, "Let The Right One In", and I'll probably be the first one to say "Let Me In" is 10 times better than the original.  Its not that I have anything against Swedish people, heck, I married one of their daughters.  What I didn't like about the original is the lack of artistic direction.  "Let Me In" succeeds in being very artistic, and is close to being like the "Pan's Labrynth" of vampire flicks.  Director Matt Reeves stunned the world with his "Blair Witch" styled monster flick "Cloverfield", which succeeded in making everyone in the theater throw up their pizza all over the seats.  After recovering from the 2-year seizure, "Let Me In" was well worth the wait.  Unlike most Horror films, this movie actually makes a very good drama as well, and the acting from Chloe Moretz as the vampire who never hit puberty is superb.  The acting from everyone else in the movie is great, but their all human, and we now live in a world where no one (especially awkward teens) cares about humans, its all about the supernatural disturbed (or glittery hunks, if your gender curious or a teenage girl).
P.S. I think the poster looks awesome by the way.

The Bad:  Bullies suck, and this one is full with 12-year old bullies who look as if they eat testosterone pills for breakfast, and then watch "Casino" for lunch;  These little freaks need to get their butts to church or Oprah.  For a vampire movie there sure isn't enough vampire violence for my taste.  I'm one of those guys who wants vampires ripping people apart, and then bathe in their blood afterwards while washing their hair with Herbal Essences.  There is vampire violence, but it's no "30 Days of Night".  Other than than that, this movie is shear perfection, just like 2 McDoubles at McDonald's for $2.

The Ugly:  The world is greatly lacking some original Horror films lately, and instead we like to remake worthless crap like Michael Bay's version of "Friday the 13th".  Although "Let Me In" is a remake, it's definitely a breath of fresh air, and is most likely to make you cry like a hopeless romantic... about as much as it will scare you like Sarah Jessica Parker's face.

5 out of 5