The Raven

It's not every day when your chick-flick loven wife says "Lets go see a Horror movie this weekend!"  After I soiled myself, I went to go change my pants and said "Lets go babe!"  Then I kissed her in the same fashion the people in "Gone with the Wind" do.
The death of Edgar Allan Poe is a huge mystery among English teachers, Gothic nerds, Horror lovers, and British people  all around, and this movie is an attempt to explain the "unusual circumstances" that led to his death.  Played by John Cusack, Edgar is going through a midlife crisis because he feels all his creativity is washed up, and he didn't have enough money to afford a Mercedes so there was no possible way to fill that gap.  Things start to change for Poe when people start dying in the same manner that characters died  in his poems, making him a valuable asset to the police in capturing the little squirt.  This may not have been the greatest movie ever made, but the premise is cool enough that everything else doesn't matter.  It was cute to see my wife watch this movie because she spent the whole time pointing out which one of Edgar's poems were being depicted by the killer, and it was especially cute when the answer was obvious, like the "pit and the pendulum."  One thing I must point out is how Ironic it is that the movie is called the Raven, when ravens are constantly dying throughout the film!  I swear those are the stupidest birds of all time, because they're always putting themselves into positions of getting shot, trampled, or choked by an 8-year old ginger.  You'd think they'd learn from trial-and-error how to survive better, but instead it's like what Forrest Gump once said, "Stupid is as stupid does."  The movie has definitely reaffirmed my belief that the raven is the depressed suicidal creature of the bird world.  Regardless of my hatred for that bird, what would have made the movie even better was if the bad guy was literally a Raven!  Wouldn't that be cool?  A human/raven man who is too fat to fly but can perch on furniture, squawking nonstop... What was in that cereal?

3 1/2 out of 5