Hell Baby

Recently my brothers have been introducing me to a couple of very fine comedians on the internet, and these people are known as Key and Peele.  I do declare that these are funny individuals, and I thought to myself “wouldn’t it be funny if they expanded their talents to the cinema, instead of doing shows on… Foodnetwork? I dunno.  The taller guy from Key and Peele (I forget their names as much as I forget to flush the toilet) join up with the rest of the cast from Rapture Palooza in a movie that spoofs Rosemary’s Baby, The Omen, It’s Alive, Lords of Salem and House of the Devil.  When a new and extremely WHITE couple moves into a house nicknamed “house of blood” in a neighborhood that is about as Ghetto as Lil Wayne’s face, you know you’re going to get a movie that’s freakin hilarious, and that makes about as much sense as one of those people who live in a broken down trailer but still manage to own a brand new Cadillac.  The two newcomers to the broken down street are Jack and Vanessa, and not only do they get a new home that resembles a building Hobos use to go BM in, but they are also expecting twins!  After a while Vanessa begins demonstrating some “not so normal” behavior, which includes behaving like a Stepford wife, eyes going black, speaking like the little girl in the Exorcist, and trying to feed her husband poison while disguising it as wine.  It’s at this time that they call upon two of the coolest Priests from Rome who wear sunglasses as much as the Blues Brothers, and smoke more than those chimney sweepers dancing upon the rooftops in Mary Poppins.  This is a HILARIOUS spoof from the makers of Reno 911 that is both funny and engaging enough for it to be worthy of multiple viewings.

5 out of 5

Friends with Benefits

Overview: Dylan, and Jamie have just gotten out of crappy relationships, and since it was such a traumatic experience for them, they’ve sworn off intimate relationships forever… well nature says otherwise yaw big dummies; especially since one of you is hot, and the other was the front runner of the gender-curious band NSYNC.  After an in-depth two minute conversation, the two decide to have emotionless sex with each other, and this way they don’t have to put themselves into a situation where they could get hurt.  Seriously, what were they thinking? Have they never seen “When Harry Met Sally” before?  It’s only a matter of time before they start caring for each other and that “aint no lie baby bye bye bye!” (I’m going to have a hard time not making fun of that boy band).

The Good:  I can only imagine what was going on between Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis on the set of “Black Swan”.  In order to be secure with their own sexual identities, these two actresses decided to make two chick-flick movies based around the same idea; the idea being emotionless sex-buddies inevitably falling in love.  After falling head over Chuck Taylors (I’m a dude, ergo I don’t wear heels) with “No Strings Attached”, I didn’t really have much hopes for this ironically similar movie, but alas I was wrong once again, just like I was wrong about all Chinese restaurants being healthy; I think the toilet and I need a time out.  This is a very funny movie that, unlike “No Strings…” has far more comedy in it, and gives the audience a chance to laugh at the stupid decisions these people make even more.  I loved how the movie is not what you expect.  When watching the trailer I’m sure everyone thought this was going to be a raunchy-comedy exclusive, but it proved to be more than that (like the pain in my buttocks was actually crohns);  “Friends with Benefits” actually teaches some pretty good lessons on what makes a relationship a good one.

The Bad:  C and I are not that picky when it comes to dialogue in a romance movie, as a matter of fact we love it when the ubber cheesy crap comes out, but there were a small handful of parts in this movie that I thought to myself “David Hasselhoff is actually a good singer”, then I thought “Even the Kraft’s Macaroni Dinosaur couldn’t bring the cheese back into this flick”.  The other beef I had with this movie is purely a personal issue.  I miss the good old days where at the butt of everyone’s jokes, there was still enough room to make fun of NSYNC for an hour, like how they possibly painted each others nails and mostly likely cuddled together.  Well lately Justin Timberlake (the heart throb) has been winning me over with his funny SNL skits, his performance in “Social Network”, and his funny-role in this movie as well as “Bad Teacher”.  How is this bad you ask?  Let’s just say I’m running out of people to make fun of now that Justin’s out of the picture, because Rosie O’Donell is getting old, and Lindsey Lohan is downright pathetic.  I guess I can make fun of the NSYNC guy who never made a name for himself, and ironically I can’t remember his name, all I remember is he had brades and beads in his hair, probably put there by Justin. 

The Ugly:  Well this movie surely isn’t ugly, as a matter of fact it’s got too attractive people as the leading characters.  Set aside what you actually might think about this movie and give it a chance, because you’ll find it to be more than just a comedy; you’ll find it to be the “Schindler’s List” of romantic comedies… ok that may be pushing it, but you get my point.

3 out of 5

Bad Teacher

Overview:  Cameron Diaz is a bad teacher... Honestly that's basically it.

The Good:  This is for all of you people who think teachers are a pocket full of sunshine, because apparently some of them can be a pocket full of evil.  There is always that fear a person gets that all the funny parts in the movie trailer are the only funny parts in the movie, luckily it wasn't the case with this one; happily enough all the funny moments in the trailer weren't even in the same context we all thought they would be.  Who'da thunk that Cameron Diaz could bring such raunchy smiles to our faces, as it turns out she is hilarious, and I was wrong about thinking she was the worst actress of all time. The rest of the cast was amazing as well, including ex-boyfriend Justin Timberlake, who goes from being his normal suave self to being one of the most awkward characters out there!  Can't say anything wrong about Jason Segel, that man IS a pocket full of sunshine.  For those of you who, like C, had to hold your tongues when talking to students or fellow teachers, this movie is a very cathartic experience.

The Bad:  For those people out there who are idealistic about the public education system, you will take strong offense to this film, because Cameron Diaz pretty much smacks you in the face... but like those "sour patch kids" candies, after the sour play she is sweet (ish) and lovely in the end.  This movie is also very abundant in awkward moments, so fairly be thee warned says I.

The Ugly:  Must see this movie... except if you are a child, because not only will you never want to go to school again, but your views of your teacher will also drop to an all time low.  This film is definitely for the teachers out there, who enjoy a good chuckle about their jobs, and who have always wanted to tell off a student or a faculty member.

4 out of 5