Invasion

Overview:  ALIENS ARE ATTACKING!!! WHY WON’T THOSE PROBERS LEAVE US ALONE?!  Yes, this time they are back, again… wow this is starting to sound like a broken Slim Whitman record… Get it? “Mars Attacks” reference anyone? No? No you shove it.  Based on the book “Body Snatchers”, “Invasion” starts when aliens are falling from the sky, and what they desire most is to posses the bodies of humans and make them emotionless… Just like what MTV has been trying to do for years.  “Invasion” follows the story of Carol, her son Oliver, and her James Bond lover (Daniel Craig) as they try to avoid and escape the massive army of alienated people (nice).

The Good:  When I first saw the trailer for this movie I was about as excited as Charlie when he found that golden ticket.  Nothing beats an eerie alien/horror flick, and I already loved the other “Body Snatcher” film adaptations so there was obviously nothing to lose.  Even though it’s based off the same book, it’s very different from it’s other brothers and sisters, because they spend less time focusing on how to kill the aliens, and more time on Nicole Kidman’s family and how they’ll survive… that, and this movie had a better ending then the other ones.  I’m really surprised I liked this movie when I rented it a while ago, because I’ll I’ve ever heard from other people is how much it sucked, well I’m here to tell you that it’s not that bad, as a matter of fact, parts of it are better than the Donald Sutherland version because it has a cooler ending; I’m not going to lie though, seeing Donald Sutherland screaming like a choking dolphin in the other movie’s ending was a dream come true.

The Bad:  Even though I sort of liked the movie, it didn’t do very well for a reason.  Leaving Nicole Kidman and James Bond’s acting aside, several of the other characters I couldn’t take seriously, instead I felt like I was watching a crappy Michael Bay movie… and that’s when my eyes started bleeding.  There were some major flaws with some of the acting, and the plot sometimes got screwed up, but I guess I’m one of those “half glass full” kind of guys that accepts something for what it is, and then loves it to death like a puppie.

The Ugly:  I thought this movie was actually pretty good, but I know there are several people out there who would disagree with me.  If you are a fan of the other “Body Snatcher” movies, then this movie will definitely tickle your tummy-wummy, because it gives you a different perspective on what happened both during and after the Invasion.

2 ½ out of 5

#2 The Others

Overview:  Grace Stewart and her two nearly albino kids have been having some poopy times ever since the father headed off to Europe, and to make matters worse their servants have deserted the house.  Due to the kid's light allergy (XP), the family had developed a gnarly version of cabin fever, so they're brains are about to crack like Roman Polanski's career.  Things become a little easier when three people knock on their door and claim to be their new servants, but are they all that they seem?

The Good:  I have a good connection with this movie, because just like the kids, my skin is extremely sensitive to the sun, and by being in the sun for roughly 5 minutes I start baking and shriveling like bacon on a Saturday morning.  For a haunted house movie this one hits all the right notes, and it does it absolutely perfectly.  In terms of being scary "The Others" is not as frightening as "Insidious", but it's far more clever and all around better made.  What sets this movie apart is it's very old fashioned appeal.  We are used to Horror movies being jazzed up the ying-yang with special effects, and when a fright-flick doesn't have those effects, then it almost has no appeal.  "The Others" succeeds in using old fashioned scares, so instead of using ANY special effects, it uses silence to draw the viewer in and play with the mind.  Nicole Kidman and her two kids are extremely convincing characters, and they actually make you feel their dread with them; by the end of the movie I had so much cabin fever that I felt like staring into a cooking microwave just for fun... maybe I should get myself checked.

The Bad:  besides the fact that the two kids in the movie look like one of the cast members from "The Children of the Corn", there isn't much about this movie that makes me want to use the bathroom.  There was an experience I had when watching this for the first time that made me mad though.  Me and a group of friends gathered together in a large TV room and we decided to watch said movie, and during the scariest part of the movie he gave me a spook by grabbing me and yelling "GHOST!"  I hope the steak we had that night went rancid in his stomach and that he now has a severe case of IBS!!  Was that a little harsh? My therapist said it's good to release steam.

The Ugly:  This is THE perfect haunted house movie, and if you are a fan of those types of films, then this one is right up your alley... if you have one.  Just make sure that when you watch it you don't have anyone sitting directly behind you, because it makes you the perfect target and they will pounce on you, like a lion does to a useless wildebeest.  

5 out of 5