Slither

Overview:  Some of this is going to sound like my review of “Invasion”, but I swear on my crohns, and all my merit badges from scouts that it’s almost completely different.  A wormy alien falls from the sky in the form of a meteor, and once it possesses the body of an incredibly built man, it gives birth to millions of tiny worm critters who infect the town residents one by one.  Once the worms get inside the people, they turn into genuine made-in-china zombies.  Sounds like “Invasion” right? 

The Good:  Just like the Poke’ Mon fad, I went through a zombie obsessed phase for about a year, and that time Pikachu was not at my side… stupid rat.  This was a very different and original approach to the zombie theme, and it actually INCREASED my faith that there are still original zombie movies out there.  What I liked is how the filmmakers were able to combine “Evolution”, “Invasion”, and “Zombieland” into one beautiful offspring of a movie; just like if Brad Pitt and George Clooney had a baby.  Nathan Fillion makes me happy no matter what he’s in, but in this movie he sparkled like Edward’s chest.  Not that any of the scenes need saving, but whenever the movie started to slow down a bit, Nathan would come in with some sound or comment that would always make me laugh; kudos to you Nate.  Elizabeth Banks was also very good, even though her accent made me want to punch her a couple of times, that punch would be followed with “I could never hurt you… now read me a bedtime story”. 

The Bad:  I don’t know what it was, but there were times during this flick that it felt like a straight to DVD movie.  The Production values were good, the graphics were awesome, and the actors were very famous, so I think the only reason it felt so ‘straight-to-DVD’ is because it’s another zombie-comedy (and those are very common).  One last thing is the movie can get pretty gross, after all it is a B-movie, and whenever a Horror film claims the “B-Movie” status they can do pretty much whatever they want.  So fairly be warned, this movie might not suit certain people.

The Ugly:  I had a lot of fun with this.  It’s an original zombie story, which is a breath of fresh air, since every zombie movie is identical to “Dawn of the Dead”.  Go have fun with this movie, and remember we hate aliens.

3 out of 5

Skyline

Overview:  Aliens are everywhere... again?  Crap, I already want to shoot myself in the foot for talking about his movie.  I’ll suck it up just give me a second…  *Toilet Flushes*, alright I’m back.  Jarrod‘s trip to LA with his lady and the gu from “Scrubs” starts out like the common “Jersey Shore” episode, but quickly ends when aliens want to destroy the city… Are we sure they’re the bad guys?

The Good:  Like “Battle: LA” there is some amazing special effects in this film regarding the aliens, and on the big screen I’m sure it was impressive to look at.  I was happy to see the Aliens kick some LA butt; because it’s about time someone grabbed that city by the crohns and slapped it across the face. 

The Bad:  I don’t really have anything bad to say about this movie… YEAH RIGHT! Like fun I don’t! I didn’t even know movies could get this bad, about halfway through I felt like gnawing on the wall, and I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure that’s not healthy.  At least I had fun with “Battle: LA”, with “Skyline” I was just pure bored because there was hardly any movement.  About 3/4s of the movie, the main characters were being losers in their penthouse, and after a while my world was beginning to feel a little claustrophobic.  I’m really starting to get annoyed with the whole “lets-not-explain-why-the-aliens-are-there” storylines, and this one is the worst of them all.  As far as I’m concerned, the aliens are just like those yapping dogs that like to chase cars down the street, and instead of running the dogs over (this is my dream) the dogs tackle the cars and tear them a new one.  I don’t know what to say about the acting, other than it sucked. 

The Ugly:  I want everyone to know that some movie-trailers have a tendency to lie.  Everyone who saw this told me it was horrific, and yet I still wasted a dollar on Redbox because, like an idiot, I thought the trailer looked cool.  I can’t even recommend this as a movie to laugh at, because it isn’t funny, if anything it’s so boring that it makes you want to cry, like I did at the ending of the “Titanic” (don’t judge me).

-1 out of 5