Pop Star

I remember seeing a music video on MTV when it used to be about music, and that music video belonged to Aaron Carter.  How great was my confusion when I saw this boy, younger than I was, singing hip-hop-be-bop, jumping up and down and attracting the attention of hot older women.  Was it Jealously? maybe, but watching that man on the tube was like starring the ideal douche-bag right in the face!  Despite my hatred and disgust for the boy his fame continued to grow, and much like every other child musician in the world he decided to overkill his fame by making one of the worst films I've ever seen, and it was called Pop Star. 

Going by the title of the Just-as-Douchey-name J.D. McQueen, Aaron Carter is (surprise surprise) a pop star who has some minor issues that he thinks are big.  The back of the case reads "His life as a superstar is perfect, surrounded by girls who adore him and guys who want to be him.  before fame goes to his head, his mother sends him back to high school and gives him an ultimatum- pass math or no summer tour!"  Holy Crap!! Are you serious?!  Woe is me, I have to pass math or I don't get to be a tool on stage for an entire summer?!  Why is the whole world against me?  Just hearing this guy speak makes me mad, and let me tell you why.  Every once in a while I like to go to a amusement park known as Holiday World, which is one of the great Indiana delicacies.  This amusement park is divided into two parts, one with roller coasters and other rides, and the other is a famed water park with some of the highest and longest water roller-coasters in the country.  I enjoy these rides as much as the next brother, the only thing that patience is needed for is that you can be waiting in line sometimes over an hour.  There are three things that keep me from going to the water park, 1. I'm a known ginger and so it doesn't matter how much sunscreen I put on, the sun will violate me all day long until I'm as red as a lobster, 2. every once in a while I end up catching a glimpse of the whale
Shamu walking around the park in the form of a 400lb woman wearing a small bikini and a Hooters shirt on top, and 3. the worst thing is for me to be stuck behind one of those hour long lines to a water-coaster, and the people in front of me are a group of douchebag high school boys attempting to flirt with other girls in the line; listening to all the toolish things coming out of their mouths can be excruciating.  Traditionally I'm afraid of heights, but it doesn't matter if I'm at the top of the slide, I would willingly throw myself off the platform if only to avoid a few more minutes of hearing that conversation.  Now why did I go on this rant of the water-coaster?  Well it is because that hour of hearing these boys try to flirt with girls in front of me was only half of bad as it was watching Pop Star, and waiting in that line was PRETTY bad.  

-5 out of 5